Funky Crayons was recently contacted by Let Toys be Toys who said we had been nominated for their #Toymark award.

Now, I had been following @LetToysBeToys on Twitter for a while, enjoying their content and indeed using their hashtag to promote my own products and website. I had no idea how huge their campaign was though and so I was really chuffed to be recognised by them as a brand which doesn't take part in gender-specific marketing.

Why is this so important?

Because today's children are tomorrow's adults.

It is very well documented that there are less women in CEO and senior management positions in companies, less female politicians, less female banking executives, less female engineers and scientists.......basically all the positions that hold power over decision-making that affects everyone's day-to-day life.

(STEM is an acronym for Science Technology Engineering and Maths.)

There is a major gender gap in STEM and lately I see lots of publications scratching their heads and asking why.

Why, in an age where sexism is now totally taboo do we still have this problem?

Women have equal access to education so why aren't they choosing STEM courses and careers?

Women have a legally protected right to equal pay so why are they paid on average 20% less than their male counterparts?

I believe that it all starts the day we're born....

Baby Girls vs Baby Boys

A recent study showed that people handled a small child differently depending on whether it was male or female.

Baby and toddler boys were dressed in girls' clothing and vice versa and the reaction from people was truly astounding.

When they thought they were picking up a little girl they were delicate and careful in their movements as if she (who of course was really a he) was made of more fragile material than a boy. 

On the other hand, when they thought they were picking up a boy, they were more likely to throw them up in the air and partake in some rough and tumble play. 

The babies dressed as girls were told they were beautiful and sweet and the ones dressed as boys were told they were big and strong.

What do these messages teach our children?

Technology

In terms of technology, which we'll all agree is a major part of our daily lives now, girls and boys use it in pretty much equal measures but the programming of our tech devices, the coding that goes into building an app or a website is more often than not done by a male. 

There are so many creative thinkers in both our boys and our girls. Granted, male and female brains do work differently. But surely with a better balance of male and female in these types of careers, there can only be benefits. If any environment, whether it is a classroom, a club, a workplace etc excludes either gender, something is instantly  lacking.

People are individuals, regardless of gender. Supposing there is someone of the opposite sex who has just the right ideas and skills needed for a project. How will we ever know how many great products and ideas never come about simply because the right people were not given the opportunity to bring their minds to the table?

In terms of getting involved in technology from the inside, it is the curiosity of how things work that makes people get into coding and web design. This can be an innate quality in people of either gender yet our girls are being steered away from it at a very young age. 

Where does it start?

STEM in general is all about a desire to know how things work, how we can make things work better, invent totally new things to solve problems, build things and analyse our world. 

If we teach our female children from birth onwards that they are here to clean up after the builders and makers and look pretty in the process, we are robbing them of their potential and also robbing the world of what they have to offer.

They have creativity, curiosity, humour, bravery, resilience and determination.

Just watch a baby girl learning to walk, pick herself up over and over again until she can do it.

When she's learning to talk, she babbles and expresses herself with her hands and eyes as well as her words.

She builds with blocks managing balance and her hand-eye co-ordination gets better with practice.

When she's trying to get an extra cookie, she can speak her piece and get her point across, not backing down until she gets what she wants.

When she's trying to stay up past bedtime she can negotiate, she can haggle, she can reason and read people. 

It may seem a long way from adult decision-making but think about it. 30 years later, she's hiring men to do those things for her. Or she's just trailing along behind her male colleagues, working just as hard for less pay.

Did we train her out of her negotiation skills?

Did we tell her a nice girl doesn't ask 20 times for what she wants?

Did we tell her not to speak till she's spoken to? 

Did we tell her "That's not for girls" when she wanted to climb trees and take risks and find her way in the world?

Did we tell her to play with babies and make cupcakes? (only)

Did we always comment on what she wore and how her hair was?

 Why it's not just a girl problem

In a house, a classroom, a creche or any group where boys and girls are together, it is just as important for boys to hear girls spoken to in an appropriate way as it is for girls to be spoken to in that manner.

It is also important that boys are let play with everything and not told that certain things are "for girls"

Children copy what they see, we all do. So if a boy grows up seeing girls being told they're beautiful and never hearing they're smart, will his values lie in how women look, not their intelligence? Maybe not entirely but societal changes come from lots of little individual changes. 

If he hears everyone say certain toys and games are "for girls" then how on earth can we expect him to shift his attitude later in life? 

What about when he sees his dad fill the dishwasher and prepare the dinner? He wants to be just like dad right?

But he can't play with the toy kitchen or baby dolls because they're "for girls" ??!!

This kind of mixed messaging really confuses kids. Boys need to have access to all toys too. If a boy pushes a doll around in a buggy, if that is his choice of plaything, he won't feel like he is turning into a girl. He won't feel like he is pretending to do something girls do.

He will feel like he is doing something grown-ups do.

Men and women. He will feel like the daddy, the uncle, the babysitter, whatever. He will play pretend and his imagination will take him away to his own world where he likes to mimic everything he sees around him. But he will be no less himself after doing so. 

It is important that he sees equality in action around him and values the work both sexes do inside and outside the home.

We've come a long way in terms of sharing household duties and child-rearing between male and female partners. Yet there are lots of fathers who gladly clean and cook and take their children to the park but would feel their sons shouldn't play with the toy kitchen or dolls or toy cleaning caddy. 

This is down to how these toys are marketed! 

Toy Marketing 

From the day I started my company Funky Crayons I said I would put all my personality into it. It started as a one-person operation from a kitchen table and has grown since into a brand recognised by many and holds the same ethos a year later as it did in the idea stage. 

My principles are simple:

• Kids are kids -no Boys or Girls sections
• Positive childhood imagery only -no tanks, guns or grenades
• Love is Love -The wedding range is aimed at all types of couples & celebrations
• Multi-denominational  -We do favours for any religious celebration
• Charitable -We help out as many charities as possible by donating prizes and making regular donations from our profits to campaigns like Movember etc.
• We're Irish - They will always be made in Ireland and promote the Irish language wherever possible. Irish names will have Á É Í Ó Ú and there is a range of products in the pipeline to help schools with Gaeilge.
• Special needs -I develop products and liaise with parents and teachers of children with special developmental needs and try to help them to learn through play, whether it's making shapes that help dexterity and fine motor skills to children needing help to learn letters and numbers. 

As a parent and a former childminder and carer I am acutely aware of how much children and parents are bombarded with expensive marketing campaigns every day. The shops and internet are full of overpriced, poor quality toys in shiny packaging with noisy hypnotic ads on TV. 

While it is up to people themselves how much they spend and what they actually purchase, this article is about gender-based marketing. It can sometimes be very subtle but it all adds up. And we all know it's those subtle subconscious messages that have the biggest effect on our decision-making.

Next time you're in a store that has signs for Boys Toys and Girls Toys, just take note of what is in each aisle. And fast forward 20-30 years in that child's life. What roles are they saying are acceptable for your son and what's acceptable for your daughter? Is she being offered anything that would encourage her to explore her engineering capabilities? Is he being offered anything that will encourage his caring and nurturing side? Or is he going to design and build bridges and skyscrapers and she'll sweep up after him with a baby on her hip, while wearing high heels and dangly earrings? Think about it.....

How can we change it?

If you are concerned about this issue and would like to create a more equal atmosphere in which children can grow into teenagers and adults who respect everyone for their abilities regardless of gender, you can just make simple changes. 

• Watch your language: Listen to how many times you tell a girl she's beautiful. I'm not for one second suggesting you stop giving compliments to girls. But tell her she's beautiful because she ate so much fruit today. Tell her she's beautiful because she's got strong legs that can run fast. Tell her she's beautiful because she smiles so much. Tell her she's beautiful inside and out. Let her know she's beautiful because she's herself. Tell boys they are gorgeous too. If they're having a hrd time and feel like crying, let them. Why tell boys all their life not to be a cry-baby and then wonder why teenage and young adult males are struggling with emotional and mental health? Tell them all they are smart and strong and funny and brave and amazing. Every day!
• Pay attention before you pay your money: You can choose to shop in places where your children are made to feel equal to all others. I don't mean boycott and picket stores with gender-targeted signage but just vote with your feet and give those who are putting in the effort the sale ahead of those who are bombarding us with negative messages.
• Go outside your own comfort zone: Sit and build Lego with a girl or a boy. Bake a cake and have a tea party with the teddies with a boy or a girl. Whether you're a dad who has never considered playing with the dollies or a mum who has never tried to build Mechano with the children, break that cycle and show them that you can do it too. Even better, give it a go for real. Do some simple DIY or home chores in front of the kids that are usually done by your partner. Let them see Daddy can iron and Mummy can put a flat pack table together. 
• Watch what really excites them. Is it food? Is it art? Is it music? Is it sport? Is it making stuff? Is it breaking stuff? Is it reading? Is it talking? Is it singing? Is it asking questions? Is it animals? Everyone has their own passions. Find ways to go with what your child likes. He/she will show excitement for certain areas of play. Go with it. Forget about what the ads are telling you. Find ways to engage with what they do well. If they find out what they love to do, they'll be so much happier in their subject choices later and career choices after that!

It will take 15 years to see change

I really believe that there are not enough female graduates from STEM courses because there are not enough girls in secondary school choosing Science, Technology, Engineering or Mathematical courses. 

There are not enough girls in secondary school choosing STEM courses because they have no idea they have skills in those areas.

There are girls who don't know they have potential in STEM because they have been trained out of thinking that way in the previous 10 years.

If we start now with the toddlers and primary school children of today and teach them in our words and actions that

• men and women are different but equal
• girls can do anything boys can do
• boys can do anything girls can do
• there is no shame in a girl doing something she mostly sees boys do
• there is no shame in a boy doing what he mostly sees girls do
• we are all unique and have a unique set of skills and personality

Then I believe we can make a difference to how the next generation of leaders, thinkers, builders, developers, engineers, mechanics, scientists, caregivers, chefs, teachers, healthcare workers, stay-at-home parents etc is formed. This list is endless but at the end of the day all we want is for our children to grow up happy. 

We can close the gender gap in business and politics.

We can close the pay gap for those who are already in careers.

We can help our young men to feel comfortable in expressing themselves and help with mental health and depression rates.

We can help women to value themselves on more than their appearance and help with their mental health also.

It will take time. It will take lots of little efforts. It will take some self-analysis. But it will be so worth it.